My friend Lynn made a statement in her blog.
Sometimes fear is just:
False
Evidence
Appearing
Real
It got me thinking. Why are we afraid of certain things?
Are our fears based on fact or some false reality in our minds?
I’ve never understood why people have such a strong fear of speaking in front of an audience.
(Actually it’s more of a fear of being embarrassed)
Maybe I don’t understand it because it’s a fear I don’t have.
I have two angles of thought on public speaking. Either it’s in front of people who you know and
if you stumble over words they’ll laugh with you and love you anyway. If it’s in front of people
that you don’t know, well who cares, you don’t need to see them ever again.
Have you ever had a fear and found a way to overcome it?
Fear and worry are both pointless. Yes, you should be looking toward and planning for the future, both immediate and longer-term. However, you can only control that which is within your power to control. Focus on doing what you can, when you can, and don’t worry about that which you can’t control. Life happens. Roll with it. Flow like water.
(This comes from a guy who lived in fear and anxiety and worry for most of 2002 after a post-9/11 layoff. There’s just NO point.)
Good outlook Andrew. I’m a big believer in not stressing over the things in life that we have no power to change….
As far as public speaking specifically, that’s been a huge one for me. Still is. Last time I presented, back in … October or November at TVUG … I was anxiety-sweating my ass off. My thoughts along these lines:
1. Suck it up and keep rolling. Who cares about what the audience thinks of you personally? They’re there for what you have to say. They can either appreciate it, or not, who cares? No skin off your back.
2. It can help, massively, to find an opportunity to take a 10 minute break.
I agree. The older I get I’m getting more of an “I don’t give a shit what people think of me” attitude. It can be good or bad depending on the situation….
public speaking tip: Toastmasters International has been great for me, not so much to get over a fear of public speaking – more that it gives you a safe environment to practice and become masterful (then I feel more confident and the F.E.A.R goes away…. or at least decreases). Lynn
I’ve heard excellent things about Toastmasters through the years. 🙂
I’ve also heard good things, and have been meaning to attend. A former co-worker is, or was, pretty active with the local group.
I had a fear of scorpions. So much so I would gag i9f I saw one on TV or in a movie. i knew where the fear came from..but anyway…
I overcame it by buying locked in a bathroom with one. It was blocking the door. I was petrified and could not move for fear of being stung. Literally….after doing my business I sat there, 10 minutes maybe? I don’t know. Just. Staring. At. It.
Then, I realized, it was dead. I had apparently stepped on it on my way into the bathroom.
They still give me the heebie jeebies. But, I can at least look at them now.
that’s kind of awesome!
What a way to get over your fear! I can kind of understand being afraid of dangerous things. I have a fear of spiders. It came from being bit by one and the agony I went through after….
Good for you for getting over your fear!
For the longest time I was terrified of needles. Best they can figure is that it subconsciously comes from having meningitis as a kid and being stuck so many times…I got over it by donating blood multiple times a year.
I don’t like them still, but it’s not the freak out, blood pressure spiking, muscle clenching fear it used to be.
For a little bit after my ex and I broke up, I was afraid of being alone, but decided that was just silly and got the hell over it…
That’s it. Public speaking never bothered me, heights can be fun, so long as they’re not startling me spiders snakes etc are fine…I’m pretty even keeled I guess.
I do worry though, but I try and keep it in check. I worry about my parents, brother, grandparents etc. Also, my immediate response is to think worst case so that anything else is better than I thought.
I wouldn’t say I’m terrified of needles but I really don’t like them to the point that last time Bella needed shots I blacked out 😦
I’m with you on the getting over being alone thing. It sucks, but you just need to suck it up right?
I think we all worry about our loved ones but not usually to the point that we’re losing sleep over it. Though occasionally there’s that person that you just watch self-destruct right in front of you and you’re just helpless and that SUCKS! But that goes to Cassie’s blog about the choices you make dictating your life….
Great discussion about F.E.A.R – the best part is everyone recognized it was something inside them vs. the thing itself. Lynn