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This was originally posted on my friend Lynn Hidy’s website Up Your TeleSales on May 31, 2010.

Who Will You Be When The Pilgrimage Is Over?

Rose Niekrewicz-Winters is a friend of mine, I met when we were both on a bus trip with a band in Ireland…. ‘nuf said. Instead of telling you, I’ve asked Rose to share her pilgrimage and thoughts about it:

It’s been quite a long pilgrimage.  I’ve traveled through the past year and a half searching for a job.  Not just any job, but “the” job.  I know, I know – in this economy many would say I’m a fool to NOT just take any job.  What those people don’t realize is that if I just take any old job and then if it doesn’t work out and they lay me off, it could jeopardize my future unemployment status.  The bottom line is that I’m picky.

Who

Some may say it’s all about who you know.  I’ve found that sometimes that just doesn’t matter.  I have over 600 friends on Facebook, over 200 members in the motorcycle club, I’m in, thousands of hits to my blog, piles of former clients….  The list goes on and on.  Nobody seems to know anyone who is hiring.  I keep my ear to the ground because all it takes is 1 “right person” to drop your name at the right time.

Who I will be at the end of the journey is hopefully someone gainfully employed and happy at my job.  Push that angle aside and I’ll also be a person who took the time to get to know hundreds of people in the process and did good things for others along the way.

What

What did I do to keep my sanity?  I helped others.  I spent time working on a charity poker run for a girl with optic nerve cancer.  I helped some friends whose house burned down rebuild their lives.  I volunteered to help do work to open up the Double H “Hole in the Woods” Ranch in Lake Luzerne, NY.  I helped out a friend who was in a motorcycle accident. I supported a friend whose daughter has leukemia and tried to help her spread the word about a fundraiser for her.  I tell friends that I may have an empty bank account and can’t financially contribute to everything I’d like, but I do have time and a bank full of good karma!

When

When did I find the time?  Being out of work many people assume you’ve got all the time in the world to run around and help them with their errands.  There is nothing further from the truth.  I look at my schedule lately and wonder “when will I find the time to work when I get that new job?”  When you get extra time in your life, life decides to throw things at you to fill the time!

Where

Where do you meet the people?  Anywhere and Everywhere!  I talk to people every chance I get.  I make friends at a local coffee shop, on vacation, at concerts, at networking events, online, through other friends….  I keep saying it only takes talking to the one right person to land that perfect job….

How

How I’ve dealt with being out of work so long is a common question.  The answer is by keeping a positive attitude.  I always keep in mind that nobody wants to hire a complainer who’s crying in their beer all the time.  So I’ve been careful not to be that person. At the end of the How Far Are You Willing to Travel article in the A Chip Off the Block newsletter some questions were asked.

How would you like it to be instead?

Obviously I’d like to be employed.  I’d love it to be with a solid company that’s willing to recognize and pay for a quality employee.  Those $10/hour job calls just frustrate me to the point of asking “Did you even read my resume??”

How open to new, sometimes crazy sounding ideas are you?

I started my job search very focused on a sales job.  Later I reflected on my career and realized I was selling myself short.  True I’ve held many sales positions as of late, but I also have done marketing, data processing, management, etc.  So pigeon holing myself was a horrible thing to do!  I later realized that opening myself up to other markets and other professions was a great idea and now I tell people that I’m keeping my options open and I’d love to hear their ideas, no matter how crazy they may sound.

Just last night a good friend told me that another mutual friend counts on me for my ideas.  Apparently I’m her “think tank” and I never knew it.  I’m analytical and try to think three steps ahead and my friend doesn’t normally think past the first step.  She let’s things unfold as they happen.  I’ve learned in life to think about the future because your actions today can make or break things.

How much effort will you put in?

I work hard so I can play hard.  Everyone likes to make money.  They’d be lying if they said otherwise.  I like to do a job in the most efficient way and get it out of the way.  I put in the effort to get a job done right the first time so it doesn’t have to be revised 4 times therefore wasting valuable “play time.”

How does this fit into your goals?

This all fits into my goals.  My goals are to work hard so I can afford to play hard.  I love to travel (in fact that’s how Lynn of Up Your Telesales and I met and became friends), ride motorcycles, attend concerts, etc.  All of that is tough to do when you’re unemployed.  So I’m hoping my positive attitude and outgoing personality I’m putting out there will pay off with the job of my dreams!

How will you keep going when it gets tough?

That’s a loaded question if I ever saw one!  Things have gotten tough.  Life is tough.  The question is will you choose to have a “Whoa is me” attitude or a positive attitude?  Attitude is half the battle!  Times get tough and somehow it motivates me to work harder and put in even more effort than I had prior.

In closing the How Far Are You Willing To Travel article said:  “It’s your pilgrimage so there are no right or wrong answers – plus if you’re happy with the path you’re on, continue!”

I may not always be happy with the path I’m on, but I’m always aware of the next crossroad and am very aware that my life can be very different based on the choices I make.  All events shape the outcome of future events.  Just like Marty and Doc discussed in Back to the Future It’s all about the “Space Time Continuum”. Make every moment count.

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OppositesConnect.com

About a month ago there was a write-up on All Over Albany about a new online dating site being developed called Opposites Connect.  The gist of the site goes off the premise of “opposites attract.”  I think it’s a brilliant idea!  The founder Larry Wilson is set to launch the site on June 1st.  If you sign up on the site now you’ll get a free membership for life.

Earlier tonight I stumbled upon the Opposites Connect Facebook Fan Page and started reading through the status messages.   They ask questions in their status messages such as “Heinz or Hunts?”  “Mary Ann or Ginger?”  “Partridge Family or Brady Bunch.”  The one that caught my eye though was this:  “What sticks out in your mind as the most memorable, intriguing, special moment of a recent date, or any date you’ve been on?”

LIAR!!

Well, as many of you know I have gone online and played the online dating game.  (And it’s funny that I call it a “game” because my profile always said “No head games!”  LOL!)  I have stories to tell, both good and bad.  I think the most memorable one was with a guy I’ll call Joe.  Joe asked me to meet him at Houlihan’s in Crossgates Mall for a drink one night after work.  (I LOVE Houlihan’s Guavatinis!!) We got together, had a couple of drinks and even ordered an appetizer.  Our conversation was okay, but it was kind of bland and I really didn’t find the guy super physically attractive.  Plus I HATE it when people lie.  (Always tell the truth!!)  Joe’s profile said he was 5′ 9″ – did he somehow think I wouldn’t notice that he barely came up to my shoulder?  (I’m 5′ 6″)  Fast forward a little bit – to when the bill arrived.  Joe dove for it.  Fine, I’m not going to arm wrestle and tear it in two.  I asked him to see the bill so I could at least pay half.  He insisted that he pay.

The Bill

I have male  friends who were participating in online dating around the same time and they always complained about girls who went out with them, got dinner, etc. and never called again and how they were going broke because of it!!  So, being the considerate gal that I am I thought it only fair that I pay half for two reasons.  One – I didn’t know the guy well and felt I should pay my own way.  I didn’t want to feel as if I “owed” him anything.  Two – Since I really wasn’t attracted to him and knew we wouldn’t be going on a second date – I felt guilty letting him pay.

After about half an hour of going back and forth about the bill I finally just gave up and let him take it.  Trust me – I argued.  I couldn’t let it go on any longer because I was honestly getting really annoyed.  If I had liked the guy prior to getting the bill, the back and forth over who was paying would have killed any shot of a second date because he was kind of a jerk about it.

Moving on – we walk out into the mall to say our goodbyes because I had plans and had to meet someone.  He said something along the lines of  “I had a really nice time with you – would you like to go see a movie this weekend?”  I told him that I thought he was nice, but I really didn’t think we were a good match and I didn’t want to waste his time.  Can you believe the guy had the _____ to say “Are you kidding me?  I just paid for your food and drinks and you won’t go on another date with me??”  The guy honestly looked like he believed I was into him and I owed him another date as if he bought a ticket for admission.  Can you imagine how annoyed I was at this point?  I think I told him something along the lines of “No, you’re not getting a second chance to make a first impression, and for future reference, starting an argument with a girl on a first date is NOT a good idea.  I made myself clear I wasn’t comfortable letting you pay – you insisted and I caved so you wouldn’t cause a scene in the restaurant.”

I have other interesting dating stories in my archives, but I’m curious what stories you guys have.  Since I think for the most part I have different readers – I’d like to hear your answer to their question on Opposites Connect’s Facebook Page.

“What sticks out in your mind as the most memorable, intriguing, special moment of a recent date, or any date you’ve been on?”

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Photo’s from:
http://oppositesconnect.com/
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.hometowncleveland.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/liar.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.hometowncleveland.com/%3Fp%3D1876&usg=__T09lVF2dZN0s91KMajUWnpTFdLU=&h=500&w=500&sz=38&hl=en&start=47&um=1&itbs=1&tbnid=ruSYDFy_TsIllM:&tbnh=130&tbnw=130&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dliars%2Bneed%2Bnot%2Bapply%26start%3D40%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26sa%3DN%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26ndsp%3D20%26tbs%3Disch:1
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://debbiegray.typepad.com/.a/6a00d8357a343069e200e55383e6248834-320pi&imgrefurl=http://debbiegray.typepad.com/&usg=__sioXpBWvLl7ydyjdNEp9lQxB3-8=&h=250&w=250&sz=12&hl=en&start=21&um=1&itbs=1&tbnid=EKzI9tcRV6FZ6M:&tbnh=111&tbnw=111&prev=/images%3Fq%3DHoulihan%2527s%2BDinner%2BCheck%26start%3D20%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26sa%3DN%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26ndsp%3D20%26tbs%3Disch:1

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