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The Weeklies ~ Week 21

The Weekly Re-cap: This week we talked about a working dog and a tree-climbing rooster.  I told you about a website called Opposites Connect that is launching soon and a bad date I went on.  You got to meet and learn more about my friend Jessica, we talked about loaded questions, bloggers & baseball….  Lastly I told you all about a fundraiser that takes place TONIGHT called Chase For A Cure.  Be there – all the cool kids are going!!

The Weekly Read: Bobby Flay’s – Grill It!

The Weekly Movie: The Rock & Jury Duty

The Weekly Downer: Being out of work 😦

Cast of Romantically Challenged

The Weekly Sad TV Situation: Romantically Challenged was canceled 😦

The Weekly Schadenfreude: New York State Governor Patterson wanted to put New York State workers on a temporary 1 day per week un-paid furlough.  A judge put a temporary restraining order on the furloughs.  So instead Patterson may lay off 10,000+ state workers.  I bet 1 day off isn’t looking so bad now huh?  If you have a job be thankful you’re employed.

The Weekly Tea: We broke out my Mr. Coffee Iced Tea Maker this week.  We made some Lipton White Tea with Island Mango and Peach Iced Sweet Tea and it was yummy!!

The Weekly Food: We had some leftover pork loin and smashed potatoes from last nights No Destination dinner at The Mill Tavern after the ride for dinner tonight.

The Weekly Amazing Fact: According to OMGFacts on Twitter:  The Statue of Liberty’s feet are 25 ft long, making her a US women’s shoe size 879.

Happy Birthday!

The Weekly Birthdays: David Onufer, Jim Mergenthaler, James Demontozon, Gaston Vega Vallejo, Rita Davenport, Alison Payette-Lovely, and Paul Fred.  I hope you all had a wonderful birthday!!   Leave me a comment here on the blog and tell me what you did for your birthday.

The Weekly Holy Shit Headline: A 13-year-old middle schooler named Raymond Hosier was suspended for wearing rosary beads to school.  The school says their dress code states that beads may not be worn because they’ve been known to be gang symbols.  The young man wears them as a remembrance of his older brother Joey who was killed by car back in 2005 and for his uncle who died of cancer two weeks ago.  The news story is here.  The comments on the story were VERY interesting too!

The Weekly Activity: Job hunting, blogging and networking.

The Weekly Damn It: Key Bank is now giving out an 8GB iPod Touch if you open a new account and do a few things to establish the account.  I’m bummed because I already have an account and I’m not eligible!!  Anyone want to open an account and give it to me??

The Weekly new people I’ve found on Twitter: Sonny’s BBQ (FL), Blue Martini (Tampa), Wet Seal, Funny Spoon, Nerd Approved, Saratoga Winery, Tweetup Saratoga, Hard Rock Cafe, and Mike Keane.

Brianna Chase

The Weekly Charity I’m Pimping: Chase for a Cure is TONIGHT!! Information can be found HERE.  Please come out and show your support for Brianna.

The Weekly Countdowns: Sex In The City 2 (May 27, 2010) 6 more days & The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (June 30, 2010) 40 more days.

The Weekly Hypothetical: If we were all told we needed to evacuate the United States next week and go anywhere else in the world – where would you go?  (And being stubborn and staying here to die is NOT an option)

The Weekly Not-So-Hypothetical: If you’re a wine drinker what are you favorite kinds of wine?

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Loaded Questions

Last night Michael and I attended the Times Union’s Baseball & Bloggers event at the Dale Miller Restaurant.   It was a fun evening with a great turn out.  It was out first visit to the Dale Miller Restaurant.  The event was held on the 13th Floor (A.K.A. – P1) and the views were beautiful!!  Mike Huber – the Times Union’s Interactive Audience Manager organized the event.  Job well done Mike 🙂

Baseball & Bloggers - Boston Red Sox vs. NY Yankees

We arrived earlier than most of the crowd along with Amanda Talar and Kari Vanalstine.  Soon after; we were approached by a Times Union photographer who wanted to take pictures of us.  After she took the picture she asked us “Where are you from?”  (Insert awkward silence here)

WHAT A LOADED QUESTION!!

Kari & I just before the question was asked. Photo by Anne Marie Sheehan

After she left Kari and I got talking about the possible answers.

Where it all stated:  I came from my Mother’s womb.
Where I grew up:  I grew up in Red Hook, NY (Dutchess County)
Since it was a blogging event I could have said my blog: Dozenroses13’s Blog
Where I currently live: Albany County

Kari’s response to the woman was “when?”  (She’s moved around through the years….)

What other loaded questions have you been asked??

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Photo of Kari & I updated 5/19/2010 2:43PM

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This blog was inspired by my friend and local sex symbol Kevin Marshall’s blog “In The Present Tense.”  There are many things that I hate that other people seem to love.  Some of them I will probably never understand.

Napoleon Dynamite ~ 2004

Napoleon Dynamite has got to be one of the stupidest movies I’ve ever seen.  Can I please have my 82 minutes back that this movie robbed from my life?

Beer

Beer just doesn’t taste good to me.  I don’t know why.  I’ve tried it over and over.  I’ve tried many different kinds.  I just don’t seem to have a taste for it.  One exception would be Lindeman’s Framboise.   Though technically it is a beer (I think – my beer buddies can chime in) it doesn’t taste like traditional beer.  I call it “alcoholic soda.”

The Biggest Loser

I’m not a big fan of most reality TV shows.  I’ll admit, I’ve never watched The Biggest Loser.  Sitting around watching overweight people lose weight is not my idea of entertainment.  I watch TV for entertainment and information.  This doesn’t fall into either of those categories for me.

Paradise By The Dashboard Light

Now, I do NOT hate Meat Loaf, however, I do hate the song Paradise By The Dashboard Light that he recorded.  The song is long, the song is annoying, and I’ve heard it far too many times for this lifetime.

The Rockey Horror Picture Show ~ 1975

I don’t like The Rocky Horror Picture Show.  Maybe humor was much different before I was born?

The Bachelor

The Bachelorette

As I already mentioned I am not a fan of reality TV shows.   The Bachelor and The Bachelorette are both horrible.  First off – from what I understand – the people on the show sign a contract that if they’re the final girl/guy at the end they will marry the Bachelor/Bachelorette.  What if they like the person, but they’re really not “the one?”  This set-up makes a mockery of marriage.  When you marry someone it’s supposed to be for life.  On these shows these people spend all their time trying to make themselves look better than the person next to them.  They’re not spending their time in a normal environment getting to know anyone.  I watched some of The Bachelor this season and it was just ridiculous!

Swiss Cheese

I don’t like Swiss cheese.  It’s bitter.  I think it kind of tastes like what I imagine wax tastes like.  YUCK!

Tequila

Tequila is another thing I hate.  If it tastes like vomit going down, what does it taste like when it comes back up?  I’m sure a commenter can tell us….

WWE

I can’t stand WWE, WWF, or whatever they’re calling wrestling these days.  Why should anyone waste their time watching a bunch of grown men on steroids taking cheap shots at each other?  This is NOT a sport.  It’s over-sized stunt men and women.

Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull

I’ve never been a fan of Ian Anderson or Jethro Tull.  I’ve seen Jethro Tull live and I wasn’t impressed.  He kind of reminded me of a little gnome dancing around the stage with his flute.  Can he play the flute?  Yes.  Can he sing?  No way!

Delurker Day is in January

I HATE HATE HATE when people lurk at blogs.  I understand if you feel you don’t have something substantial to contribute everyday.  But for the love of GOD I had hundreds of views to my blog yesterday and only 1 comment.  Seriously people, if you want to read blogs, participate once in a while!!  I ask a question at the end of almost every blog I write so you’ve got no excuse….

Today’s question:
Tell me what you hate that everyone else seems to love.
If you’ve got a few extra minutes tell me why you hate it.

Please comment and subscribe.

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This has been fun so far.

Ask me anything at this site.  Or tell me anything in my comments….

Remember though…  watch what you wish for…

Make sure you really want to know the answer!  LOL!

I know, I know, not my most interesting blog, but I’ve had a SUPER busy day!!
Running around has worn me out!!

Please comment, subscribe and ask me questions at the link 🙂

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I’m going to start out by saying that none of what you are about to read is about anyone that you know online or anyone you’ve met or anyone I’ve talked about, so don’t start speculating that you know this person.  I can guarantee that you don’t.  Literally about 5 people I know have met this person and they don’t read my blog so…  moving on.

I have a very close friend who is in a relationship.  He met a girl about 6 months ago.  He liked her and they kept in touch.  He went to see her roughly once a month and then at the beginning of January they decided to step things up and see each other more often and see if they could turn things into more than what they previously were.  One important thing I’ve left out is that she lives 3 hours away from him.  (He just moved last weekend – prior to his move it was 8 hours)

I would like to see your honest opinions of what you’d do in his situation.  What questions would you ask?  Would you run?  Would you stay and sort it out?  What would you do? What advice do you have for him?

Buckle up, put on your crash helmet and hang on.  Here we go….

He met her one night while traveling in a bar at a hotel he was staying in.  They got chatting for hours and at the end of the night she gave him her number.  He thought she was cute and the conversation was good so he kept in touch with her.  The girl is married with two young children.  She is estranged from her husband, but they’re not divorced.  He’s moved out of the house, but I’m not sure when that happened.

My friend has been the one to drive back and forth to see her.  He’s been the one who always seems to be going out of his way for her.  (Each visit costs him $200 between his hotel room for the night and gas)  She understandably can’t just up and leave to see him for the weekend because of her children.  I wonder if this will always be the way.  Even after she’s divorced will she be able to take the children out of the county where her and her husband lived?  Divorce laws vary by county in the state she lives in.  And they do NOT recognize legal separations.  They’ve been keeping their relationship behind closed doors until she speaks with an attorney (this week) to find out the consequences if her husband does find out she has a boyfriend.  The way I see it, since her state doesn’t recognize legal separations, it would probably be viewed as adultery.  Could this possibly jeopardize her custody situation?  I’m not sure.  While we’re on the issue of her kids, how easy is it going to be for my friend to raise someone else’s kids?  Will her ex-husband make it a living hell for him?  My friend obviously can’t even meet these kids to see what they’re like.  (Don’t get me wrong, I totally understand this, it’s not healthy for kids to meet everyone their Mom or Dad dates until it’s serious)

She seems to communicate with him most often by text messaging.  Picking up the phone and calling him seems to be a foreign concept for her.  He’ll send her a text at 7AM and he might hear back from her by 2 in the afternoon if he’s lucky.  She’ll ask him to text her when he gets home after work so she can call him.  He’ll send the text at 7:15PM and not hear back from her.  She’s used the excuse over and over again that she fell asleep with her kids.  That excuse is getting really old and tired….  This is the first month the two of them have been dating more seriously and she doesn’t seem to care about communicating with him.  When she DOES communicate it’s always sweet, nice and flattering, it’s just getting her TO communicate that’s the problem.  She’s asked him to let her know when he’s home from work so she can call, he’s passed up dinners to wait for her call that never comes.  He really likes her and didn’t mind sacrificing some time with his buddies for her, but he DOES mind it when she couldn’t be bothered to call.  She paints a really pretty picture with her words and flattery, but she doesn’t seem to back it up with actions.  You know the old adage “Actions speak louder than words.”  My friend is willing to drop everything and pick up that phone and make time for her whenever.  Again, he’s going out of his way for her.  But it’s getting to the point that he feels like he’s 10th or 12th on her list.  I understand that her children are first, as they should be, but he should be right up there at the top with them.  He doesn’t feel like he’s important to her because she’s not showing it….  He talked to her a few weeks ago that she needed to step up her communication skills and this is how it’s been since then.
Is she just playing head games with him?
Does she want to be chased?
Is that why her communications skills SUCK??
She seems to have a lot of time that’s unaccounted for.
What’s she doing that she can’t call or text him?

My friend mentioned to her at one point that he wanted to join the rest of the world and go out and get a laptop.  He works with computers all day long so the last thing he wants to do when he gets home is play around on the computer.  He’s been thinking about it though.  When he told her this her response was “What, are you going to go and get a Facebook account too?” (and she wasn’t saying it in a joking way)  She said that she likes that he’s not online.  (I’m not sure if she’s worry he’ll cheat on her, catch her online, or be hit on by other women??)  She did tell him that she has a MySpace that she rarely uses.  What she failed to mention is that she does have a Facebook with a decent number of friends.  We don’t know if she goes on it often, but isn’t it kind of hypocritical?  I’m not saying she has a ton of friends – in fact she’s got nothing compared to me, but the point is it’s pretty shitty to make it clear she doesn’t want him on there when she is.

Every time they’ve met up since the night they met, they’ve met at a hotel in the town where she lives.  They hang out there and don’t go out in public because they don’t want to run into her ex or someone that could tell him.  So one weekend he went with her to a football game out of town.  It’s the first time they were ever really in public together.  She spent pretty much the whole game flirting and heckling a guy who was sitting in front of her.  She ignored my friend.  He almost walked out of the stadium and went home.  When he finally confronted her about it, she didn’t understand why he was upset.  That would have been a deal killer for me.  Disrespect is a HUGE deal killer for me.  For my friend it usually is too.  This girl played it off that she didn’t think it was a big deal.  The guy she was talking to was cheering for the other team and she was having fun.  If it was me and I hadn’t seen my boyfriend in weeks, I would have spent the whole time talking to him because I hadn’t seen him in a couple weeks.  But that would be me….I wonder how she’ll behave in public next time they go somewhere? I hope she learns from last time….

He made a comment on one visit that she could be cheating on him and he wouldn’t even know it because he lives so far away from her.  Her response was “When would I have the time?”  That sounded like a very evasive answer to me.  My response would have been something like “I have you, I don’t want anyone else, and you’re the guy for me and the only one I want.”

A big concern that my friend has is that from what he sees this girl has never had an example of a healthy relationship in her life.  Her Father left when she was young and her parents divorced.  Her Mom remarried and got divorced again.  She’ll even admit that she knew she was making a mistake the day she got married and referred to her marriage as “lust at first sight.”  She’s never had a healthy relationship to model herself after….  This girl is 35 years old and loves to watch The Real World and Jersey Shore.  Isn’t it time to get interested in something a little less juvenile?  I have friends who watched Jersey Shore and asked if they can have that hour of their life back.  My friends concern is that the more you watch crap like that on TV you get desensitized.  You start to think that cheating and treating people like crap is ok and it’s a way of life.  When he brought this up to her she told him to watch Sex In The City if he wanted to understand women.  Seriously? I think a comment like that is the kiss of death for this girl.  My friend is an old fashioned kind of guy.  He’s got manners, morals, and values.  He doesn’t treat women like objects.  Is this guy watches that show, he’s going to think all girls are like Samantha who’s out getting laid with a different guy every night of the week.  That is not what this guy wants to see.  He doesn’t need to see Carrie go out with one guy and go to a bar and make out with another guy.  Saying women are like what you see on Sex In The City is not the way to get to this guys heart.  (And for the record I LOVE SITC, but I’d never tell a guy that’s what all women are like and what all women want!)

This girl is good to him face to face.  She can carry on a great conversation when they’re together and she’s got his attention.  Something about her made him notice her.  The problem for her is that his attention is waning….  He went to see her last week and was going to lay a lot of these issues he has with her out on the table among others (YES there are OTHER issues on top of all these) but when he got there she had cooked him a nice dinner and brought it to the hotel, so he felt bad about coming into that with an ambush and didn’t bring it up.  He also didn’t want to stress her out a couple days before she’s going to talk to an attorney because he realizes that talking to an attorney will be stressful enough.  He cares about this girl quite a bit, he says they do have some stuff in common, but I feel like she just doesn’t know a thing about him.  If she did she wouldn’t be behaving the way she is.

My friend is honestly one of the sweetest, nicest guys on God’s green Earth, but he’s the rebound guy.  (She says she hasn’t dated anyone since her husband)  He’s a great guy, he isn’t controlling, he thinks that both parties in a relationship should be making decisions together, but she seems to be wearing the pants and controlling where this relationship is going at the moment and in my friends words “No cat will ever walk this dog.”

As I’ve talked to him I’ve come up with tons of unanswered questions.  Obviously my first one is security.  My friend makes good money, has a house, nice car, a few expensive toys on the side…  Could she just be looking for a soft place to land?  A sugar Daddy to take care of her and her kids?  Or does she really care about him because he’s a great guy and how he makes her feel?  My friend puts his girl up on a pedestal.  Since he started noticing all this stuff he’s knocked her down a bit, but he still treats her wonderfully through it all.  He doesn’t want to become a doormat though.

Another concern is if he sticks it out with her somehow and then she gets her divorce will she leave him in the dust and ride off into the sunset with some other guy now that she’s free of her marriage??  Having been through a divorce myself I’ve explained to my friend that she will be a different woman after all is said and done.  I know I went in one way and came out the other side much harder, less trusting, annoyed much easier….

I worry quite a bit about my friend.  (Hence this being the longest blog I’ve ever written) There are questions sprinkled throughout this whole situation.  I worry that if he breaks up with her though without getting some sort of closure will he forever wonder what would have happened if he stayed?

What are your honest opinions of what you’d do in his situation?
What questions would you ask?
Would you run?
Would you stay and sort it out?
What would you do?
What advice do you have for him?

Thank you for reading this!  I know it was long winded and I REALLY appreciate it.
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